Hopes

I guess I'm an emotional person. But selectively emotional these days. Especially on family matters. What I mean is that I'll shed tears only in movies where it concerns family ties and values. Other films don't affect me that much.

Just watched a VCD from oraldeafed org. It's a documentary about deaf children, in a politically-correct term - profound hearing impaird children, and how hearing aids or cochlear implant together with motivation and support from parents, speech therapist and audiologist, gave these children a chance to hear and speak like normal people. Normal people like you and I.

In this one hour long video, the parents describe their feelings when given the diagnosis and how they persevere in teaching their children to talk. Mind you, it's a hard process, something that takes a lot of time and work before you can actually hear the child utters the first word. Like one parent said, "Miracle only happens after a long hard work." And amazingly, these children are able to speak so well that you couldn't actually believe that they have profound hearing loss.

I watched thise video 3 times and I still shed tears every single time. I have never failed to marvel at one thing - hope. These parents' hopes for their children were dashed when they were told their children are deaf. But they saw hopes again for their children when they learnt that they can give their children a chance at speaking, not without hard work. I could really feel their struggles and emotions as they speak. They inspire me so much.

I just hope that this will inspire my client's parents as much. I'm at a loss as to how to encourage them to spend more time teaching their child language. My client is a 3 1/2 year child with profound hearing loss. The ability to learn to speak is there. What's lacking is the parents' willingness to work day and night feeding her language. I have been concentrating in counselling the parents in this, since the first session. I really hope the child can have a chance in speaking. She's quite a bright child.

I'll be seeing them again this Wednesday. I hope they will be able to see what their child can do, like what the parents in the video has envisioned for their children.

Conversations (2)

'I'm going to Carrefour. Want anything?'

'Who you going with?'

'Dina. Want anything?'

'Can I come along?'

'(Paused). Can.'

'Really. You don't mind me being lamp post?'

'No lah. Where got such thing. But why trouble yourself if I can buy it for you. What do you want to buy from Carrefour?'

'No. I just want to get to MidValley. Want to watch 'Osama'. Hey, can you and Dina pak toh at MidValley until I finish the movie?'

'Shit you la....'

'Hahaha....joking only la. Go buy water-melon for me. I'm going to sleep la. Who got time to kacau you and Dina la....'

'Stupid....'

Conversations

"You thought you know everything, huh?"

"No, but I know enough."

"Do you know why she died, but you're still here?"

"Timing."

"Timing, your head."

"It's true. Why is it that you have been standing here for the past half an hour, and yet there is no bus coming this way. Timing. You missed the last bus."

"Missed the bus, your head. The last bus is at 11pm. It is just 10.45 now."

"See? It is timing. Your watch rosak, I think. Mine says it is 11.30pm. It is timing."

THE CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG IN THE NIGHT TIME

Fiction
Author : Mark Haddon
Credentials: Whitbread Award

A guilty pleasure I had during my exam week. Studied one page of notes but indulged in one chapter of the book. If the test was about autism, I might still do well but it's not. It's about voice disorder, and I think you would have guessed how "well" I did in that exam.

What caught my eye and led me to buy the book, was first of all the long but interesting title and the fact that it's about an autistic boy. This is a first person narrative on the boy's attempts to solve a murder mystery. And I must admit that I'm very interested in autism. I will read almost anything with the word autism in it.

Anyway, I found this book to be addictive. That's why I'd rather read this than my notes. But then again, anything is more interesting than my notes, except perhaps notes on autism. Ok, enough. This book is highly recommended for those who have no idea what is autism, people who have vague ideas about it, and also people who would like to get into the mind of an autism. In short, it's for everyone! Just read it like any other book but with very interesting insight into this mystery pervasive developmental disorder.

In this book, the main character is 15-year old boy called Christopher. He found his carefully structured life fell apart when a neighbour's dog is killed. He was a Maths genius but had no idea about human's emotions. His favourite book was Sherlock Holmes (the reason for the tile of this book). This is his attempt to write a book on solving this murder mystery. Besides that, you will also find out why :
1) he doesn't like being touched
2) lots of strangers made him dizzy
3) seeing 5 red cars in a row is super good day but 5 yellow cars made it a super bad day
4) he wouldn'd eat food that touched each other
5) he doesn't like being in a new place because there are too much information to absorb
6) etc

I've always wondered what goes into the mind of an autistic. And this book actually answered so many of my questions and even questions that I've never thougght of. But this book is not to be taken as an encyclopedia of autism as it describes only a particular person. No two autistic person are the same, just like ther are no two persons have the same personality.

It's available in any bookstores. At least in MPH and Kinokuniya. Enjoy reading.

MOVE ON

My sister called me yesterday over my 'sad' blog. We talked for a while about God's calling and our purpose in life. This subject is not new as both of us sometimes struggled with what we are called to do in life. Mine is clearer as I do know what I'm going to do. I know I'm blessed because God reveals His plan for me so much earlier. I guess that's because He knows I will give up and get frustrated easily if I were kept in the dark. My only problem now is that I feel dry and lost even though my path is quite clear.

After talking to my sister, I realised something. I have been dwelling too much in the past. I can't continue relying onto my passion from the past to keep me going. Feelings will change. That's why we need to make certain decisions in life. For me, it is to trust God. When I lose hope, I trust God that He will renew my faith. When I feel dry, He will fill me up. When I wonder how I could survive with this huge amount of work, I trust that God will let me help me to not only survive, but also to overcome the burden that I feel.

I learn that I have to move on. To start anew. When all is lost, I know that I have not lost anything and that I do have a purpose in life. To answer God's calling to work with special children is my purpose. No matter whether those children are from New Horizons or not. This will be sufficient to drive me.

Thanks, sis for the call. You are truly God-sent. And I pray that you will persevere in waiting for God's calling for you. Trust Him.

REFLECTION

Time and time again, I find myself thinking what I am doing in university. Many people wonder whether they have chosen the right course. I have no doubt about choosing the right course - God literally handed it to me in the first place. And I found myelf very much attached to this course.

The thing that I wonder about is the enthusiasm I have lost in learning. I find myself getting very tired of the workload - clinics, classes, assignments, etc. Sometimes, I would think back of all those wonderful times I had with the special children in New Horizons. I wanted to bring back the reason for wanting to do any course that will enable me to be with special children. It seemed so far way now. It seemed like a long time ago. The memory is so distant.

I pray to God to bring back this passion. I have never forgotten the children. But I have lost the drive. The special children were my drive. And now I find myself just wanting to survive and graduate.

Again and again I ask God what is missing. I long to once again feel the joy of learning, and also the joy these children bring me. Besides God, they are the other main reason why I'm here.

I love the old times in New Horizons. Can I be the person I used to be?