Thesis Not So Blue?

I have many things to thank God about. I'ts only been 3 days since I last wrote about my thesis blues.

1. I have managed to get video recordings of 6 pairs of parent-child. It's amazing how compliant they are in agreeing to come to the clinic to do this. And they are not paid.

2. Waking up in the morning not dreading about having to do work for my thesis.

3. Not dreading about making phone calls to ask parents to participate, and being rejected.

4. Of course, I still another 6 pairs to find. But at least, some of the parents have told me that they will call back to confirm date or to asked me to call back next week.

5. I need to schedule the recording sessions around my class (starting next Tues) but I believe things can still be done.

Most of all, I thank God for being a faithful God, in whom I can find rest in.

Thesis Blues

My first sem has come and gone without me doing much for my thesis. This is because it has really been a busy sem in terms of clinic. That took all my time, including weekends. The only things I have managed to do were to search for other researches, design my methodology and carry out pilot study.

My thesis title is "Caregiver-child Interactions in Wh-Questions". I can practically hear most of you say "What?" Basically, I have to analyse the questions and responses to questions used between a caregiver and a child during play. Hope that is layman enough. I need to do a video recording for 12 pairs of caregiver-child in my clinic, which has sound-treated rooms. All the children are pre-schoolers and they first language must be Malay.

In recent times, I have come to a point of near-giving up. I have developed this 'thesis-evasion' syndrome. I will give myself all kinds of excuses and make myself available and busy with everything else but my own thesis. I think the reason is to avoid thinking about it and getting headache over it. It becomes so bad that I didn't trust that God could help me. Although i have friends who prayed for me, I thought the prayer were just words spoken for no purpose.

I knew I have to reconcile with God on that. I knew that only God can make what seems impossible to me, happen. I knew only His strength can be made perfect in my weaknesses. I knew all these....and I cried out to Him for foregiveness for my unwillingness to trust Him.

Today, I found that I have more problems:
1. So far, I only have 1 confirmed pair.
2. I can't make phone calls and I don't know when I can do that as the clinic staff are still not back from their
Raya holidays.
3. I can't confirm any appointments for the parents as I am not sure when the clinic will be opened. My
lecturer is still trying to get hold of the staff.
4. I have extra classes from 15 Nov - 15 Dec with a lecturer who came from US or Canada ( I don't really
know - I just know she's a foreigner) and was warned that she doesn't tolerate kindly to people going in and
out of lectures. So, I have to schedule all the recording sessions around this and also assignments that will
be given as well.

Given all these problems, I think I can go crazy. But I didn't. And most surprisingly, I remain very, very calm effortlessly.

I feel as if God is testing my faithfulness and trust in Him. Do I trust that God will make all things work out, better than with my own effort?

Amazing Love
How can this be
That you my King would die for me

Peace asked for, and peace is given by Him, which quietens the inner doubts that threathen to resurface. If God is for us, who can be against us?